As Mother’s Day approaches, it brings up the question - how do two-dad or one-dad families celebrate the occasion, if at all? If you’re a new or expecting dad, there are probably a lot of other questions that feel more pressing, like “Did we buy enough diapers?” or “Is it nap time yet?” However, if you’re a dad with slightly older children, the question “Where is my mommy?” may have already come up at the dinner table, leaving you searching for an appropriate response. For dads who build their families with the help of an egg donor and a surrogate, having a plan in place to help explain your child’s creation story and honor those important relationships is a great place to start.

New legislation in New York state will require insurance providers to cover same-sex family building without discrimination. In early 2021, New York state Governor Cuomo's office announced a directive requiring insurance providers to provide immediate coverage for fertility treatment, regardless of a patient's sexual orientation or gender identity. In the words of Cuomo, "Every New Yorker regardless of sexual orientation or gender identify should have the same opportunity to conceive a family, and we must do everything we can to ensure cost is not a barrier...In New York State, we believe love is what makes a family and that the law must work for everyone. This action will go a long way toward achieving that goal." Here at Gay Parents to Be and RMA of Connecticut, we are proud to work with prospective parents from all over the world, but with offices in Connecticut and New York, we hope that this historic declaration will make a difference for patients right in our backyard. In this blog, we'll unpack how this change might impact future parents, what will (and won't) be covered, and how we're hoping to learn more.

One of our favorite moments here at Gay Parents To Be and RMA of Connecticut is when we receive cute baby photos from proud parents. Not only do they brighten up our days, desks, and office walls, but they are also hugely motivating - they remind us that we are helping people build the families of their dreams, even when the journey may seem long and the obstacles challenging.

For prospective parents in the LGBTQ+ community, there are many pathways that you might take to build your family. Whether you decide to pursue a private or public adoption, or biological family building, there is now a wealth of information available online to help you get started, to take that first step. For dads-to-be who have chosen to pursue biological family building with the help of an egg donor and gestational carrier, the journey ahead is exciting, yes, but also slightly overwhelming. How do you know that you are choosing the best clinic for your journey, putting your future family in the best hands?

It’s probably safe to say if you are reading this post, it’s because you’re considering surrogacy as one avenue to family building. Surrogacy is a complicated process and finding the right person to carry your future child can seem like one of the most daunting parts of this equation. But with the right team of experienced clinical and administrative staff, you and your future family will be in good hands.

LGBTQIA+ family building is alive and well. Booming, in fact. According to an extensive LGBTQIA+ family building survey conducted by Family Equality, "63% of LGBTQ millennials are considering expanding their families, either by becoming parents for the first time, or by having more children."

Now that your surrogate is pregnant, she’s eating for two. But this isn’t just any unborn baby—this is your baby. Understandably, the health development of your unborn child is one of your primary concerns now. Can you ask your surrogate to follow a special diet?

My husband Adam and I got married in 2017, and we had always talked about starting a family of our own. Being a cheerleading director, I always wanted a little girl, while Adam wanted a little baby boy. We decided the only way this could ever happen would be to either adopt two babies, or go through a surrogacy journey and try for twins. We started looking into clinics and found RMA of Connecticut and their Gay Parents To Be program. We met with Dr. Leondires, or “Dr. L” as we came to know him, and we trusted everything he told us.

So, you’ve decided that being a parent is in your future - congratulations! This is a major life-decision, and personally, as a parent of two young children, I can say whole-heartedly that being a parent is the most rewarding and hardest job you’ll ever have.

I’ve heard more than a few analogies for the surrogacy process since I started working with Gay Parents To Be. Family building through IVF and surrogacy - the path that many dads chose to complete their family - has been equated to a journey, a logistics equation, and a puzzle made of many pieces. To be sure, given that most surrogacy journeys for dads include:

Starting a family isn’t always easy, especially if you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Whether you’re going this journey alone or hope to add a child with your same-sex partner, the road to achieving a family can be both daunting and confusing. First, you need to decide whether you’d like to adopt or build a biological (i.e. genetically linked) family.

Gratitude is not just an attitude, it’s a choice – a choice about where to focus our attention. It doesn’t mean ignoring the injustices and misery in the world, for gratitude isn’t emotional or mental amnesia. What gratitude offers is the time to shift our attention to what is surviving, thriving and staying healthy – something that feels especially important this year.