February 18th, 2026 | 7 min. read
Learn how surrogacy works for LGBTQ+ intended parents today, including how the process has evolved, what steps to expect, common logistical and legal challenges, and how to prepare for a surrogacy journey that is more accessible and supported than ever.
In this article:
Guest post by Kelly Enders-Tharp, Education and Experience Specialist at Growing Generations.
Growing Your Family Through Surrogacy
LGBTQ+ families have historically faced significant challenges when pursuing parenthood through surrogacy. While the landscape was once defined by legal hurdles and uncertainty, today's families have greater protection and clarity than ever before.
Understanding this evolution and the resources available can help prospective parents approach their journey with confidence.
Since joining Growing Generations in 2012, I've had the privilege of supporting families and surrogates through every stage of their journeys, from admissions and matching to education and ongoing support.
As a three-time surrogate and certified Perinatal Mental Health Professional, I bring both personal and professional experience to this work. Today, I continue to advocate for education and awareness in surrogacy, helping both LGBTQ+ parents and their surrogates feel seen and heard throughout the process.
How has surrogacy changed for LGBTQ+ families?
Over the last 10 to 15 years, the surrogacy process for LGBTQ+ people has transformed. Evolving legislation around marriage equality, parentage rights, and assisted reproduction has created stronger, clearer legal frameworks.
Today, more states across the U.S. have laws that explicitly support the surrogacy process.
According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine's surrogacy law state-by-state guide, legal landscapes vary significantly. Some states have comprehensive surrogacy statutes, while others rely on case law or have restrictive policies. Understanding your state's specific regulations is an important first step in your surrogacy journey.
Note: Globally, surrogacy regulation continues to evolve as well. Research highlights the importance of clear legal frameworks that protect all parties involved: intended parents, surrogates, and the children born through these arrangements.
Most attorneys specializing in reproductive law are now able to support LGBTQ+ families by drafting surrogacy agreements that explicitly protect their parental rights. Agencies across the industry have also modified their practices to reflect this transformation, creating more inclusive environments for diverse family structures.
What to Expect as an Intended Parent
For LGBTQ+ intended parents, the surrogacy process has evolved and presents fewer challenges than before. Here's a quick snapshot of what you should know:
1. The Journey Begins With Connection
A reputable surrogacy agency will start by listening to your story and learning who you are, how you envision parenthood, what unique supports you may need, and how to build a path that feels empowering and deeply personal.
From there, you can expect personalized guidance through matching, legal coordination, medical steps, pregnancy, delivery, and beyond.
2. Matching Should Be Intentional
When pairing intended parents with a surrogate, the process should consider far more than basic logistics. Communication preferences, emotional expectations, personality alignment, and shared values all matter.
Worried about finding a good match for your family? Know that many surrogates proudly choose to support LGBTQ+ parents and feel genuinely honored to walk this journey alongside them.
3. Support Evolves As the Journey Unfolds
- Early on, emotional reassurance and clear education often matter most.
- Later in the process, legal protections and logistical guidance take priority.
- During pregnancy and delivery, communication, trust, and thoughtful preparation become essential.
Choosing a Surrogacy Agency
A family-building expert (and father via surrogacy) shares the most important features to look for in a surrogacy agency.
Challenges LGBTQ+ Families Still Face
Despite significant progress, LGBTQ+ families still encounter plenty of frustrating hurdles when navigating their surrogacy journey. The most common challenges include:
Legal Variations by State
Surrogacy laws vary dramatically across the country.
ASRM's state-by-state resource is an invaluable starting point for understanding where you stand legally and where you may want your surrogate to reside during pregnancy.
Insurance Complexities
Coverage varies widely, and understanding what's included (or excluded) in various insurance policies requires careful attention.
Sometimes, additional research or self-advocacy may be necessary. A good care team will always help you find the answers you need and point you towards helpful resources.
Financial Planning
Surrogacy requires a significant financial commitment. Understanding expected costs, insurance variables, and long-term planning is crucial before you take the next step.
International Considerations
Families with international ties pursuing surrogacy in the United States may need additional documentation or logistical coordination, particularly around citizenship and parentage recognition abroad. This can be complex!
That's why choosing a fertility clinic and surrogacy agency that provide personalized support for international intended parents can make all the difference.
Explore our partner clinic Illume Fertility's Global Concierge program to learn more.
The Support LGBTQ+ Parents Deserve
Every intended parent deserves a surrogacy journey that feels protected and supported from start to finish. At every stage, your agency should communicate clearly, prepare you thoroughly, and advocate for your needs with both professionalism and compassion.
Here’s what you should expect:
- Guidance that anticipates challenges before they arise
- Legal support that prioritizes your parentage and security
- Emotional care that honors your unique journey
- Fair treatment and support for surrogates, which creates healthier partnerships and stronger trust for everyone involved
What Parents Should Keep in Mind Before Starting
Surrogacy is a family-building path that involves a complex web of relationships and demands you might not anticipate. Before beginning your surrogacy journey, it may help to pause and reflect on your readiness in a few key areas:
- Psychological: How emotionally prepared do you feel for a process that can bring both profound joy and challenges?
- Financial: Do you understand the expected costs, insurance variables, and long-term planning involved?
- Logistics: Will your surrogacy journey involve travel? Are you able to take time off?
- Support: What additional support might you need during this journey?
Choosing the right surrogacy agency is important.
Due diligence means asking clear questions, expecting transparent answers, and paying attention to how supported you feel from the very first conversation.
Look for demonstrated experience with LGBTQ+ families, clear legal guidance, strong ethical standards, and respectful communication. Be cautious if an agency offers vague explanations, rushes decisions, avoids discussing potential challenges, or treats the process as purely transactional.
💡 Read our detailed guide to choosing a surrogacy agency to learn more.
Building Your Family on Your Terms
Today's surrogacy landscape is very different from what it was just a few decades ago.
Intended parents increasingly prioritize selecting the right surrogate over the fastest possible match, a shift that speaks to the desire for a personalized, values-aligned experience.
The relationships between intended parents and surrogates take many forms. Some maintain close connections for years, celebrating milestones together and sharing holidays. Others choose quieter connections, honoring the importance of the experience while stepping into their new chapter with privacy.
There's no single right way, only what feels authentic for everyone involved.
For LGBTQ+ families, surrogacy still holds unique challenges, but it doesn't have to feel overwhelming. With the right support, legal guidance, and resources, this life-changing journey can be filled with joy, connection, and the family you've always envisioned.
The Surrogate Perspective
An experienced surrogate shares why she has dedicated herself to helping hopeful parents grow their families.
