One of our favorite moments here at Gay Parents To Be and RMA of Connecticut is when we receive cute baby photos from proud parents. Not only do they brighten up our days, desks, and office walls, but they are also hugely motivating - they remind us that we are helping people build the families of their dreams, even when the journey may seem long and the obstacles challenging.
For prospective parents in the LGBTQ+ community, there are many pathways that you might take to build your family. Whether you decide to pursue a private or public adoption, or biological family building, there is now a wealth of information available online to help you get started, to take that first step. For dads-to-be who have chosen to pursue biological family building with the help of an egg donor and gestational carrier, the journey ahead is exciting, yes, but also slightly overwhelming. How do you know that you are choosing the best clinic for your journey, putting your future family in the best hands?
Now that your surrogate is pregnant, she’s eating for two. But this isn’t just any unborn baby—this is your baby. Understandably, the health development of your unborn child is one of your primary concerns now. Can you ask your surrogate to follow a special diet?
My husband Adam and I got married in 2017, and we had always talked about starting a family of our own. Being a cheerleading director, I always wanted a little girl, while Adam wanted a little baby boy. We decided the only way this could ever happen would be to either adopt two babies, or go through a surrogacy journey and try for twins. We started looking into clinics and found RMA of Connecticut and their Gay Parents To Be program. We met with Dr. Leondires, or “Dr. L” as we came to know him, and we trusted everything he told us.
So, you’ve decided that being a parent is in your future - congratulations! This is a major life-decision, and personally, as a parent of two young children, I can say whole-heartedly that being a parent is the most rewarding and hardest job you’ll ever have.
I’ve heard more than a few analogies for the surrogacy process since I started working with Gay Parents To Be. Family building through IVF and surrogacy - the path that many dads chose to complete their family - has been equated to a journey, a logistics equation, and a puzzle made of many pieces. To be sure, given that most surrogacy journeys for dads include:
Starting a family isn’t always easy, especially if you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community. Whether you’re going this journey alone or hope to add a child with your same-sex partner, the road to achieving a family can be both daunting and confusing. First, you need to decide whether you’d like to adopt or build a biological (i.e. genetically linked) family.
Navigating Surrogacy Through 2020 The path to parenthood for LGBTQ individuals and couples can have some unexpected twists and turns, and 2020 has thrown its own fair share of curveballs - many of which have impacted the surrogacy process for prospective parents. But for dad-to-be duo Bret and Stephen, they’re making this path their own, and we’re so excited to be following along with them as they vlog along the way. Let’s take a look at a real family building timeline, and see how the Broadway Husbands are navigating family building through 2020 - curveballs and all.
COVID-19 has ushered in unprecedented change for almost everyone. With fluid guidelines and advice, everyone in the fertility world is working hard to be flexible and help intended parents move forward with their plans to create families through egg donation and surrogacy. As a liaison between egg donors, surrogates, parents, agencies, clinics, and more, Donor Concierge helps fertility patients navigate the uncertainties and feel somewhat in control.
Generally speaking, LGBTQ persons who built their family via surrogacy, adoption or fostering put forth tremendous effort and expense to have their family. Yet, once that child arrives (whether that’s as a baby or an older child) one's sense of responsibility for another life really becomes palpable. When I held my son Luke in my arms for the first time, I wondered, "Am I going to be able to help him thrive?" I didn't know how to change a diaper; the ratio of water to baby formula when I needed to feed him; how much milk he should get, would he get a diaper rash on my watch; and so on. But, as every parent realizes, you figure it out.
I vividly remember this one specific night in 2017, during my sophomore year of college. I was lying in my twin bed in my dorm room, under the covers tossing and turning, knowing I wasn't going to sleep that night. It was the night I realized that my sexuality wasn't a choice and that I couldn't keep lying to myself anymore. For a lot of people, I imagine it's a pretty liberating feeling, but to me, it felt like a tremendous weight had settled on my shoulders. I could only think about the implications of this realization, and how much my future might differ from the one I had always imagined.