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If you’re considering building your family, or starting to have that conversation with either your partner, your family, your friends, or a fertility provider, you may be consumed with questions such as, where to start? Do we pursue adoption, or biological family building? What legal concerns do I need to consider in order to protect my future child?

You learned in our last article in this series, The Path to Gay Adoption: Part 1, that Nicholas and Paul are in the final stages of the legal adoption process for their young son, “J”. It’s been a relatively straightforward case. As they prepare for the judge’s blessing, Nicholas reflected on the couple’s journey toward parenthood.

Nicholas and Paul met in New York by chance. Two days later – on their first “official” date – they talked about having children. Nicholas always wanted to be a dad. As an adult, he figured surrogacy would be the easiest way. Paul preferred starting as a foster parent, then adopting, because that would take a child out of the often-cumbersome state care system as early as possible.

I’m a member of a Facebook group focusing on parenting by gay, bisexual and trans men. Diversity is one of the group’s greatest strengths, and on any given day you’ll find posts from dads who adopted (domestically, internationally and through foster care), are parenting children from former heterosexual relationships, are co-parenting, or have built their family through surrogacy.

The New Year is in full swing and it’s safe to say that by this point two things are clear to LGBTQ parents: First, getting your kids up and ready for school is not easy when it’s still dark at wake up time. And if you live in the Northeast like us, add snow boots and long johns to the mix!

Previously on The Path to Gay Adoption | Part 2, Nicholas and Paul discussed the emotional ups and downs of the legal process for adoption.